Relax! Enjoy your meditation journey

Many people are attracted by the idea of meditation, though often they have little idea of how to go about it, or where it might take them. And unfortunately many meditators and even meditation teachers make it far too difficult for new meditators to get started.

My story, and the unlikely start of a journey

I know. My own introduction to the art of meditating didn't go at all well. I had had a breakdown. My energy level was very low. At night I was plagued by a mind that could not stop ruminating, constantly replaying the events that had led to this breakdown. That meant I got little sleep.

My family took me away on a pre-arranged holiday to a remote cottage on the west coast of Scotland. It was a long way to travel from the South of England where we lived at the time, even though we stopped with family half way. I spent most of that journey flat out on the back seat of the car. That would be illegal now, but it wasn't then.

A surprise discovery

One day while we were there I wandered in to a small village shop. It had a variety of goods for sale and, unexpectedly, there was a small pile of paperback books on the counter. It was a book about meditation, and its selling point was the offer of calm. That was what I so much needed. Could meditation help my poor damaged mind? I was deeply suspicious of a whiff of "Eastern mysticism" about the book. Nonetheless, I immediately bought it.

The start of a journey

That was the start of a journey that has eventually led me to healing and to peace, and, yes, to calmness, and much more beside. But it took me a long time to get started, and even longer to find an approach that has finally borne fruit for me. I'm sorry to say the little book I bought didn't help me at all, apart from sowing a seed in my mind. Could meditation help?

"Getting it wrong"

What was wrong with that book was that the author wanted his readers' first experience of meditation to be "perfect". And so he fussed about, giving far too many instructions. I tried to do what he said, but I ended up tense, worried I might "get it wrong", still unhappy about "Eastern mysticism", especially when I found the method involved repeating a mantra. I tried to use some meaningless jumble of sounds instead, but my first experience was far from "perfect", and I knew it.

Your story, and how do you get started?

I wonder what has attracted you to meditation, and how you've ended up here on my website. If you'd like to tell me, then please do, and use the Contact Page to send me a message.

Relax! Start small and enjoy your journey

My message to you is, Relax! Start small and build up slowly. Do what you can, and enjoy it. My journey has involved "unlearning" many things I had assumed, or feared, or thought were necessary in meditation.

This website is built around an unusual approach to meditation. It will bring you calm. It will bring you an inner healing you may not realise you need. It will bring you contentment and even joy, whatever your outward circumstances may be. There's nothing especially "Eastern" about it, mystical or otherwise, though it was first developed in ancient India. Your first attempt probably won't be "perfect", but it doesn't need to be. This is a "step by step" method, in more ways than one.

Each step is a training

This method involves sixteen different steps, and it may take you months or even years to work your way through them all. But that's OK. Being on a journey is always an adventure in itself, and you will gain so much along the way, long before you get to the final destination. Each of the steps is a training, and training yourself to do anything can take time (as well as some effort).

Yet this method asks of you nothing more than to become aware of your own body, and then later on of your mind. It's open to anyone, eastern or western, southern or northern. It isn't religious in any way. If you already practise a religion that's important to you, that's fine. Carry on. It won't change that in any way except by making you a better member of that community and that faith.

No special place

You don't have to go to some special place. You can actually start anywhere—yes, even in a crowded railway station or at a busy airport! Just sit down wherever you are. You might prefer to sit somewhere where you're not going to be constantly interrupted, but if one or two people speak to you, that's fine. Just deal with what they want, then go back to your practice. But find a safe place. If you're constantly on your guard against danger you won't relax properly.

No special way of sitting

And no, you don't have to sit in some special way. Just sit and make yourself comfortable. You need to sit so that you can stay alert, so it's probably best not to lounge back too much. Sitting up straight often helps us to stay alert and focussed, but do find a comfortable position.

Should you close your eyes when you sit? Some people do and some don't. Again, it's about interruptions and distractions. I find it easier to close them, for a couple of reasons, but if you prefer to sit with eyes open, that's OK. What I suggest though is that you sit with eyes unfocussed and unmoving. Don't keep looking at—and thinking about—things around you that catch your attention. Allow the mind to relax and become quiet.

Then what do you do?

What are you supposed to do once you've sat down, become comfortable, and relaxed? That will depend on what approach your practice takes. On this website I try to explain a mindfulness practice. That means becoming fully present to whatever your experience is.

Developing mindfulness as a broad awareness

Being aware of breathing

Anapana practice starts by coming to know each in-breath and out-breath. The name, Anapana, means "in-and-out-breath". Wherever you go, whatever you're doing, you're always breathing. So you can do this anywhere, in whatever way you're sitting—or standing, or lying flat! Anapana simply asks you to become aware of your breathing.

No need to try too hard

Yet you can easily take it much too seriously. If knowing the breath is the only thing you're doing, you may be tempted to improve how you breathe. You may try to breathe in some special way, or even in some perfect way. You may try to do it to the exclusion of all else, so that you never miss a breath.

Only you'll probably find that your mind wanders anyway. You get busy thinking about something else and forget about your breath for whole minutes at a time. Please don't feel guilty or start to berate yourself if that happens. That is just the way our minds work.

A broad awareness

The real problem with doing nothing but focussing exclusively on the breath is that it doesn't give you enough to do.

I find it works much better if you give yourself something else to do at the same time as noticing each breath. And that's OK because mindfulness is not actually about focussing narrowly on just one thing. Being present, here and now, actually involves a broad awareness of all that this moment holds.

Accepting, and hearing, all the sounds

So although this isn't included anywhere as part of Anapana practice, my suggestion is that when you first sit down, become aware of your environment, especially of whatever sounds you can hear. And if you can't hear any sounds, then be aware of the silence. Usually there are a number of sounds we can hear, so just allow yourself to hear them, but without getting involved in any of them.

On a busy railway station, or in an airport, or just sitting in my home, there are any number of different sounds we can hear. If you had been a meditating monk in ancient India you might have gone out into the forest to meditate. Jungles and wild forests are anything but silent. Wherever we sit, sounds will nearly always arise.

Better to be aware of them than to be taken by surprise by one that's particularly loud or close by. And better not to try to block them out—mindfulness is about being fully aware of whatever this moment in time holds—not about blocking part of it out or being deliberately unaware of it.

Being here, aware, but not involved

So relax, sit comfortably, be aware of where you are. Hear its sounds, feel its warmth or coldness, notice the brightness or dimness of the light, feel any touch sensations. Be here, be fully here, but don't get involved with any of these things. Notice I don't say "listen" to the sounds. Just let all of them come into your ears and hear them. Don't start thinking about them, just accept their presence.

Mindfulness is about developing a broad awareness, but also a dispassionate awareness. It will take practice for that to develop.

Apart from what you're hearing or experiencing of your environment, something else is happening in this moment. You are breathing. So allow that to come into your awareness as well.

Notice your breathing too

When you breathe in, notice that you're breathing in. When you breathe out, notice that you're breathing out. If you pause before you take the next in-breath, notice that you've paused. Again, there's no need to think about any of this, or to put it into words. And there's no need to change or control how you're breathing in any way. Just notice wordlessly what the body is doing, as it's doing it.

Doing all of this at the same time, you're going to be quite busy. That's good because the busier you are the less you'll get distracted, and the less likely it is that your thoughts will start to wander away to something else. And all of it is helping to develop different aspect of mindfulness.

Developing your awareness

When you hear sounds, they may come and go, but you have no control over them. They help you to develop a passive awareness of things. You learn to just allow life to happen. The same is true of things like the temperature, the light-level and other aspects of your environment, though those things don't usually vary and come and go the way sounds do.

As you become aware of your breathing you develop an ongoing awareness. Whether the sounds arise and die away rapidly, or cease altogether, your breath remains a constant. It may pause between breaths, but not for long. And when it pauses you may still be hearing something, or hearing the silence.

Soon we'll turn awareness to your whole body as well, not just your breathing. When we do that, you'll be developing a spatially extended awareness.

Coming out of the head

The more you practise like this, the more you come out of your head with all its busy thinking, and the more you learn to experience, simply and wordlessly, the place where you are and all it holds, your own body and all it senses. Much later we'll learn just to experience your mind, even your heart. We're not ready for that yet, we've got quite a journey to travel before we get to that stage. But it will come if you keep at it, training yourself step by step.

Developing maturity

When it does come you may experience deep, psychological healing of the scars of life that you bear—that we all bear. You'll develop a greater maturity towards life, becoming a more open and compassionate person.

That may seem far in the future for now. Just relax, follow the meditative journey at whatever speed it may come. Enjoy each stage of it and see for yourself where it will take you. Come and join the Anapana Adventure.

Don't try to be a hero

Oh, and don't go for meditation heroics. You might be impressed with stories of people meditating for hours on end, but don't try to copy them. After a while you'll lose focus. After that it will all become rather counter-productive. When you're ready for hours-long meditation, it will be effortless.

Knowing when to stop

Until then, know when enough is enough, and bring it to a close for now. Frequency of practice is much more important than length. Come back to it in odd moments of the day. Try to build a regular session into your daily schedule if you can. If you can't, meditate when you get the opportunity. Some days may give you more opportunities than others.

Relax, start the adventure, enjoy your practice, let it develop naturally. If you'd like to work with Anapana practice, you'll find everything you need on this website. If you'd like to work with me, just send me a message. Welcome!